Mumbai Big Macs, hating cricket and dinner with Melissa
OCCC captain Ed Henderson starts a series of interviews with the great and the good by chatting with Tristan Rosenfeldt, whose career peaked at 14 when he made his debut for Cranleigh's 1st XI. he held down his place for all five years at the school despite not making a fifty of taking a five-for ...
Tristan, by my calculations this will be your 11th season of OC cricket. You're playing in the season opener at Esher. Are you still as enthusiastic about cricket as ever?
I love cricket...but I HATE being on a cricket pitch. I'm a rubbish fielder, I can't catch or dive, I'm scared of facing anything quicker than Williamson and my body doesn't allow me to physically bowl a ball any more...saying that though, and I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it before, but I'd like to take this opportunity to highlight that I have scored the "best-looking OC ton ever" according to Graeme Brown...
I wouldn't say I've ever been enthusiastic about dusting off the whites for a new season but there's something about OC cricket - like a deeply unattractive, drunk girl in a club at 2am - that means I'm continually drawn to it. The club is in a wonderful state at the moment and I'm enjoying becoming one of the older members, I consider myself a father-figure to the likes of Scriven, Rollings and Howard. Plus, being led on to the field by you takes me back to my Upper 5th days, a far more innocent a time, when there was no chance of you snaring a lady as lovely as Holly!
Goodness you have dealt with about 10 of my questions in one excessive answer. Of course I was going to mention the solitary ton... in the rained off game. Is it beyond belief that you could score another?
If I were a betting man, I wouldn't hesitate to put a few quid on me not scoring 100 runs by the end of the decade ... in fact, fancy a race Hendo? Me to 100 total runs, you to get 20 wickets, first one to the target wins? Regarding my 117 on 9th July 2006, I still very much consider it a match-winning ton, that rain just happened to get in the way of.
I think you sell yourself short. You can still caress a ball through the covers like Inzaman-ul-Haq. I would like to see you say 'right, I'm taking cricket week off work, I am going to beat Damien Hill's (yup really) record of runs in a cricket week. Skipper I'll open up against that quick from Milfield who clattered Rob Merry on the melon twice'. Keen?
Not interested in the slightest! There's absolutely no part of me that's up for the "challenge"...I guess that's a 1990's Cranleigh education for you.
You performed the role of fixtures secretary with distinction for seven years. Your successor Michael Roper is showing encouraging early signs. What are the important character traits for the role and does a successor to Michael jump out at you?
The role of Fixtures Secretary is very much like standing behind the stumps - it's boring but you have to be alert constantly. You never get praised for anything good you do, you just get criticism when something goes wrong. Plus it's a job that nobody else can be bothered to do! So being a 'keeper of some distinction, I think Ropes is a wonderful successor!
Tell me one or two of your favourite memories from OC tours you have been on.
Well I'd rather not divulge the details of the Cape Town night when Rob Merry hijacked my fines session with a bottle of Bushmills... There's a few that immediately spring to mind though: - Alan Cope's wonderful 100 in Goa (the maiden OC hundred abroad I believe?) - Celebrating Mike Payne's 70th Birthday in a Mumbai nightclub - Damo "losing" his passport on the platform of Chandigarh train station - Trying to ring your room in Chandigarh one night only for you to repeatedly tell me in an Indian accent that you were Mr Shah and trying to sleep. I was furious with reception for giving me the wrong number each time! - Eds Copleston disgracing the nation by vomiting on the Newlands pavilion steps
But I have to say, my favourite touring memory also involves Copleston E. You were there too. He'd just finished batting in a hot and humid Mumbai. His hangover, combined with his exertions, led to cramp kicking in and him reeling on the floor, taking in as many sugary soft drinks and sweets as we could get our hands on. Then our local fixer 'Sachin' brought a solution to the table - getting a girl to sit on his face! While not the best idea medically, it was one of the funniest, well timed moments I have ever witnessed! Eds had finally had enough of the third world afterwards, and I love how he just turned his back on the tour and checked in to The Oberoi, in a desperate hunt for proper room service!
Great answer. He was on his back like an upturned woodlouse and had people bending back individual fingers and toes. He was in panic stricken agony, we were in hysteric, giggling delight. Mike Payne's response... "Sachin I don't think that's particularly helpful". This was the same day you had to squat over a hole in the middle of the busiest roundabout in India with a handkerchief sized bit of tarpaulin covering you up!
Not my finest hour, but there was no way I could continuing fielding for even one over more with the noises coming out of my body after three weeks in India.
Who would you most and least like to room with on a tour?
Most like to room with on tour would have to be Tom Merry, as he's as disinterested in playing cricket as I am. I think I'd struggle to share with Jonny and Alice Gates, I couldn't put up with their nocturnal behaviour! Who's the best room-mate you've had on tour and why? Who would be your ultimate OCCC tourist, can be anybody, dead or alive?
Really it is meant to be me asking the questions. Lot of good roomies – Random, T.Mez but certainly not you after you lost control of your bodily functions before getting to the loo in Lusaka. That will teach you to go off on a solo night mission in search of a Wimpey in a third world capital city … so 20 needed off an over, which OC bowler do you face?
Front line bowler? Or does Gatesy and his bucket-load of cheap OC wickets count?
He'll tell you he's a bowler so I'll accept that answer. You could leave the first couple of balls and still cruise it. You're hosting an OCCC dinner party and have to invite one over 40, one under 25, one WAG and a wild card... who are they?
Excellent dinner party question. I'll go for Watkinson (he must be over 40 by now!?) as I've always thought he's quietly approved of any of my previous bad behaviour! Is Rob Jones under 25? (No he isn't). His impressions of Z-List celebrities and ex-Cranleigh teachers still, 15 or so years later, are still one of the few things in life to make me laugh out loud! Wild card would have to be my Cricketing-mentor Clem Williams and there's only one WAG I'd want at that dinner party, Melissa Johnson! What a night that would be! Anyone else you think would add more to that table???
Listen, I'm asking the questions. Which OC player would you most like to sit in a deck chair with a cool glass of pop in your hand and watch bat for a session on Jubilee?
Great question! It would be between two: Alan Cope. For me he's the most talented player at the club and when he's playing well, the runs come so easily all round the wicket ... and Will Howard. Always susceptible to the genuinely quick stuff but when he gets on top of the bowling, he can be so aggressive and destructible and shows a complete disregard for his opponents...which I love! Seren would be very close too as he's just pure class! I've not seen enough of Scriven x 2 or Cowdrey yet to include them, but I'm looking forward to playing with them over the next few years and no doubt scoring tons of runs! I also look forward to you finally having a regular slot towards the top of the order. I think the whole club would love to see an Ed Henderson ton before your body finally gives up!
At the winter dinner you agreed to face an over from Meaks for the Tim Evans charity. A lot of money has been pledged. Some peoples pledges are linked to the number of body blows you suffer. When is this going to happen?
I will honour the agreement and face an over from Meaks at a time and place convenient for him and his summer schedule with Surrey (and hopefully England). I think as a club we're all a huge supporter of the Tim Evans charity...but I will be doing everything I can to not to get hit during the over even if that does affect the money raised! Saying that, I'll be trying to get bat on ball and give a far better showing than Piers Morgan did against Brett Lee at the MCG in the winter. How about those that are donating based on how many times I get hit, commit that same amount for every time I hit the ball?
In front of square, yes certainly! Ok some quickfire answers now because you're taking up too much space. Name you most like to see on the team sheet in a game you're playing in?
Gates or Henderson...means I can get a free lift there and back from London.
Best dressed OC
Tough as members of the OCCC have zero sense of style. I'll go for Hobbs as he rocks those OCCC tailored golf shorts
Do you still harbour club captaincy aspirations?
It's cost me thousands of pounds in therapy but I've let the club captaincy desire go. I trust it's in your safe hands now Henderson.
Will you be married in five years time?
I hope not, marriage is for mugs! Unless my planned trips to Vegas get a little out of hand...
McDonalds, BK or the Lusaka branch of Wimpey?
McDonalds, Mumbai...
Test side for 1st Test at Lord's v Sri Lanka
1. Cook 2. Robson 3. Bell 4. Pietersen 5. Root 6. Bopara 7. Prior 8. Broad (Capt.) 9. Meaker 10. Finn 11.Anderson
Ok do it without KP who clearly can't play
No. That's my XI. It's ridiculous that KP has been axed. Typical of English sport not being able to handle/manage mavericks!
Thank you Tristan Rosenfeldt
 |
| Always dapper, at Headley in 2012 Rosenfeldt played the entire day in a DJ as part of a charity bet |
I love cricket...but I HATE being on a cricket pitch. I'm a rubbish fielder, I can't catch or dive, I'm scared of facing anything quicker than Williamson and my body doesn't allow me to physically bowl a ball any more...saying that though, and I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it before, but I'd like to take this opportunity to highlight that I have scored the "best-looking OC ton ever" according to Graeme Brown...
I wouldn't say I've ever been enthusiastic about dusting off the whites for a new season but there's something about OC cricket - like a deeply unattractive, drunk girl in a club at 2am - that means I'm continually drawn to it. The club is in a wonderful state at the moment and I'm enjoying becoming one of the older members, I consider myself a father-figure to the likes of Scriven, Rollings and Howard. Plus, being led on to the field by you takes me back to my Upper 5th days, a far more innocent a time, when there was no chance of you snaring a lady as lovely as Holly!
Goodness you have dealt with about 10 of my questions in one excessive answer. Of course I was going to mention the solitary ton... in the rained off game. Is it beyond belief that you could score another?
If I were a betting man, I wouldn't hesitate to put a few quid on me not scoring 100 runs by the end of the decade ... in fact, fancy a race Hendo? Me to 100 total runs, you to get 20 wickets, first one to the target wins? Regarding my 117 on 9th July 2006, I still very much consider it a match-winning ton, that rain just happened to get in the way of.
I think you sell yourself short. You can still caress a ball through the covers like Inzaman-ul-Haq. I would like to see you say 'right, I'm taking cricket week off work, I am going to beat Damien Hill's (yup really) record of runs in a cricket week. Skipper I'll open up against that quick from Milfield who clattered Rob Merry on the melon twice'. Keen?
Not interested in the slightest! There's absolutely no part of me that's up for the "challenge"...I guess that's a 1990's Cranleigh education for you.
You performed the role of fixtures secretary with distinction for seven years. Your successor Michael Roper is showing encouraging early signs. What are the important character traits for the role and does a successor to Michael jump out at you?
The role of Fixtures Secretary is very much like standing behind the stumps - it's boring but you have to be alert constantly. You never get praised for anything good you do, you just get criticism when something goes wrong. Plus it's a job that nobody else can be bothered to do! So being a 'keeper of some distinction, I think Ropes is a wonderful successor!
Tell me one or two of your favourite memories from OC tours you have been on.
Well I'd rather not divulge the details of the Cape Town night when Rob Merry hijacked my fines session with a bottle of Bushmills... There's a few that immediately spring to mind though: - Alan Cope's wonderful 100 in Goa (the maiden OC hundred abroad I believe?) - Celebrating Mike Payne's 70th Birthday in a Mumbai nightclub - Damo "losing" his passport on the platform of Chandigarh train station - Trying to ring your room in Chandigarh one night only for you to repeatedly tell me in an Indian accent that you were Mr Shah and trying to sleep. I was furious with reception for giving me the wrong number each time! - Eds Copleston disgracing the nation by vomiting on the Newlands pavilion steps
But I have to say, my favourite touring memory also involves Copleston E. You were there too. He'd just finished batting in a hot and humid Mumbai. His hangover, combined with his exertions, led to cramp kicking in and him reeling on the floor, taking in as many sugary soft drinks and sweets as we could get our hands on. Then our local fixer 'Sachin' brought a solution to the table - getting a girl to sit on his face! While not the best idea medically, it was one of the funniest, well timed moments I have ever witnessed! Eds had finally had enough of the third world afterwards, and I love how he just turned his back on the tour and checked in to The Oberoi, in a desperate hunt for proper room service!
Great answer. He was on his back like an upturned woodlouse and had people bending back individual fingers and toes. He was in panic stricken agony, we were in hysteric, giggling delight. Mike Payne's response... "Sachin I don't think that's particularly helpful". This was the same day you had to squat over a hole in the middle of the busiest roundabout in India with a handkerchief sized bit of tarpaulin covering you up!
Not my finest hour, but there was no way I could continuing fielding for even one over more with the noises coming out of my body after three weeks in India.
Who would you most and least like to room with on a tour?
Most like to room with on tour would have to be Tom Merry, as he's as disinterested in playing cricket as I am. I think I'd struggle to share with Jonny and Alice Gates, I couldn't put up with their nocturnal behaviour! Who's the best room-mate you've had on tour and why? Who would be your ultimate OCCC tourist, can be anybody, dead or alive?
Really it is meant to be me asking the questions. Lot of good roomies – Random, T.Mez but certainly not you after you lost control of your bodily functions before getting to the loo in Lusaka. That will teach you to go off on a solo night mission in search of a Wimpey in a third world capital city … so 20 needed off an over, which OC bowler do you face?
Front line bowler? Or does Gatesy and his bucket-load of cheap OC wickets count?
He'll tell you he's a bowler so I'll accept that answer. You could leave the first couple of balls and still cruise it. You're hosting an OCCC dinner party and have to invite one over 40, one under 25, one WAG and a wild card... who are they?
Excellent dinner party question. I'll go for Watkinson (he must be over 40 by now!?) as I've always thought he's quietly approved of any of my previous bad behaviour! Is Rob Jones under 25? (No he isn't). His impressions of Z-List celebrities and ex-Cranleigh teachers still, 15 or so years later, are still one of the few things in life to make me laugh out loud! Wild card would have to be my Cricketing-mentor Clem Williams and there's only one WAG I'd want at that dinner party, Melissa Johnson! What a night that would be! Anyone else you think would add more to that table???
 |
| He always harboured captaincy ambitions - and a footballing mentality - as shown when asked to lead at Esher in 2007 |
Listen, I'm asking the questions. Which OC player would you most like to sit in a deck chair with a cool glass of pop in your hand and watch bat for a session on Jubilee?
Great question! It would be between two: Alan Cope. For me he's the most talented player at the club and when he's playing well, the runs come so easily all round the wicket ... and Will Howard. Always susceptible to the genuinely quick stuff but when he gets on top of the bowling, he can be so aggressive and destructible and shows a complete disregard for his opponents...which I love! Seren would be very close too as he's just pure class! I've not seen enough of Scriven x 2 or Cowdrey yet to include them, but I'm looking forward to playing with them over the next few years and no doubt scoring tons of runs! I also look forward to you finally having a regular slot towards the top of the order. I think the whole club would love to see an Ed Henderson ton before your body finally gives up!
At the winter dinner you agreed to face an over from Meaks for the Tim Evans charity. A lot of money has been pledged. Some peoples pledges are linked to the number of body blows you suffer. When is this going to happen?
I will honour the agreement and face an over from Meaks at a time and place convenient for him and his summer schedule with Surrey (and hopefully England). I think as a club we're all a huge supporter of the Tim Evans charity...but I will be doing everything I can to not to get hit during the over even if that does affect the money raised! Saying that, I'll be trying to get bat on ball and give a far better showing than Piers Morgan did against Brett Lee at the MCG in the winter. How about those that are donating based on how many times I get hit, commit that same amount for every time I hit the ball?
In front of square, yes certainly! Ok some quickfire answers now because you're taking up too much space. Name you most like to see on the team sheet in a game you're playing in?
Gates or Henderson...means I can get a free lift there and back from London.
Best dressed OC
Tough as members of the OCCC have zero sense of style. I'll go for Hobbs as he rocks those OCCC tailored golf shorts
Do you still harbour club captaincy aspirations?
It's cost me thousands of pounds in therapy but I've let the club captaincy desire go. I trust it's in your safe hands now Henderson.
Will you be married in five years time?
I hope not, marriage is for mugs! Unless my planned trips to Vegas get a little out of hand...
McDonalds, BK or the Lusaka branch of Wimpey?
McDonalds, Mumbai...
Test side for 1st Test at Lord's v Sri Lanka
1. Cook 2. Robson 3. Bell 4. Pietersen 5. Root 6. Bopara 7. Prior 8. Broad (Capt.) 9. Meaker 10. Finn 11.Anderson
Ok do it without KP who clearly can't play
No. That's my XI. It's ridiculous that KP has been axed. Typical of English sport not being able to handle/manage mavericks!
Thank you Tristan Rosenfeldt
 |
| Working up a sweat in India in 2007 |
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