It's all part of the fun

A day of grey sky, rain and beggars. Chandigarh is not a major tourist city and it’s not actually hard to see why. It is a positive oasis of calm after Delhi, but the streets, although wide, are charmless. There are no pavements, and so the dirt at the side of the roads turns into slippery mud in the wet, causing pedestrians to walk in the roads and so become targets.

The beggars show a persistency that defies belief. Our captain made the mistake of giving one Rs50 (60p) on a trip to the local “market” and the rest of the walk was spent zigzagging outstretched hands while his colleagues added to his discomfort by pointing newcomers towards him. We expected some local produce in the market itself, but it was mainly overpriced brand names or plastic tat.

Henry and Mez took a rickshaw on the way back to the hotel but their combined weight so overwhelmed the stick-thin peddler that they arrived after those who had carried on walking. En route Henry managed to start chatting up a lady on another equally slow rickshaw, but so embarrassed was she to be seen talking to him that she jumped out and demanded photographs of their talk be deleted.

Some brave souls ventured to Chandigarh’s main attraction, the Rock Garden, in the morning. “Stuff thrown together by some bloke on drugs,” was Melissa’s considered verdict, although Milly enjoyed herself. Hobbs, fast emerging as our cultural attaché, said that it was as bad as the Birmingham Bullring adding “but at least they had the common sense to demolish that”.

The evening was highlighted by a Rosenfeldt inspired and coordinated quiz in which many cheated but the dream team of Moorby, Gates and Williamson rightly won.

And after three healthy days, the first victims of stomach upsets took to their rooms. Leading the way was Random, thus proving – as if we didn’t know – that while Australians might talk a hard game, inside they are as soft as marshmallows.

Dick of the Day Tristan Rosenfedt, who came up late on the rails with a shocking dinner-time performance during which, among things, he insulted the secretary’s wife, admitted to pulling a 14-year-old at school (“Come on guys, she was almost 15”) and asked the waiter in a top restaurant if he could get a Big Mac.