Cricket week 2003 ... the awards

Batsman of the Week: Henry Watkinson
Henry was at his belligerent best throughout, leading the charge against Grasshoppers with a quickfire fifty and regularly upping the tempo of an innings in his own style.

Bowler of the Week: Graeme Brown
A long-service reward for Shorts, who was used to keep one end ticking over while the big guns rested (or hid from the first-class batsmen). Brown took the scalps of Trevor Gripper, Hamish Marshall and Matt Church to name three.

Innings of the Week: Rick Johnson
Rick showed that he can play real cricket when the occasion demands with a thoroughly entertaining 60 against Grasshoppers. He also came second in the voting for giving a large assembly huge delight by being bowled for 0 to the second ball of the week.

Shot of the Week: Pete Hobbs/Richard Seeckts/Graeme Brown
Close call, this. All three shots came as we tried to draw the tedious game against Wanderers. Hobbs aimed a massive heave at a straight one ("I was bored"), then Seeckts tried to smack Gripper out of the ground ("I bet him I could hit him for six"), and as captain Watkinson grew increasingly angry, Brown capped it all by charging down the wicket to Gripper and being stumped by such a margin that it could have been classifed as a run out ("He hit me for six, I wanted a go back at him"). Brown's was filth, but Hobbs returned to find his team-mates had formed a 'corrdior of shame' for him to walk through.

Bowling Performance of the Week: Ed Henderson
OK, Michael Chetwode might have got more wickets, but Hendo's amazing return of 8-7-1-2 against Old Aldenhamians is about as good as it can get for an opening bowler in a cup competition. The one run he conceded was a wide off his fourth ball - his next 42 balls were runless.

Fielder of the Week: Sam Langmead
Chased everything, perfected the sliding stop-and-throw, has a good, accurate arm, and most importantly responded to a yell of "hard in" from Chetwode at the bowler's end with a exocet from about 15 yards which left the great man spreadeagled on the ground clutching his midriff.

Catch of the Week: Simon Copleston
A remarkable catch from Simon at short midwicket off Martin Williamson to end an opening stand of 52 by the Celeriacs. A held-back ball (long hop) was middled by the unlucky opener hard to Simon's right and no more than two inches off the ground. Simon flung himself, held the ball, and leapt to his feet with a hard-man's stare and no emotion, as if to indicate to the batsman that this was routine for him. If only he knew …

Over of the Week: Henry Watkinson v Surrey Cryptics
Another award for the captain. Chasing runs as the declaration loomed, Henry announced that he would prove he was a big hitter. The first ball went high but straight to mid-on who dropped a rotuine catch - 2 runs. The second ball was lofted towards long off who should have been on the fence but being an OC (Paul Goss) he had drifted and the ball looped over his head for four. The third ball was blocked. The fourth ball was skyed to square leg for another routine chance but again it was dropped - 2 runs. The fifth ball was again smacked to Goss at long off; Goss, lambasted by his captain for "not being on the rope, you twat" had learned his lesson. Again the ball sailed over his head as he charged in, another four. The last ball was an edged single. Four dropped catches in five balls. Good hitting, Waffer.

Drop of the Week: Henry Watkinson/Anonymous
The identity of the gentleman who dropped the Old Georgians' opener (who went on to get 116) off the first ball of the match - and a sitter at that - will remain a secret as it was his first appearance for the club. So instead Watkinson wins the award for a plethora of missed chances (he did take some good ones in his defence) the best being his drop off the same OG batsmen the very ball after he had loudly reminded his fielders that they "have to hold on to any chances".

Chat-up Line the Week: Henry Watkinson
No contest as the captain crashed and burned in a Guildford nightclub. The recipient of Henry's "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Barbara Streisand?" line was so unimpressed that she hit him several times, cutting his lip in the process. "She had a big nose," explained Watkinson.

Woman's Arm of the Week: Graeme Brown
Not a good week for Brownie's machismo reputation. Having mocked Simon Copleston's throw, Brown, previously thought to have a good arm, failed to get within 10 yards of Simon's worst effort (and within 20 yards of anyone else's) during the Sunday night challenge. By Thursday he was being asked to show just how feeble his arm was to opposing players. His humiliation was completed when he was out-thrown by a woman on the final day of the week.

Conman of the Week: Rick Johnson
Rick's determination to disprove rumours that he has the drinking capacity of a fourth-former ended in a 60 in 60 challenge (60 shots glasses of beer in 60 minutes). Rick triumphed, seeing off Watkinson whose challenge ended on his 57th glass. But a subsequent weights-and-measures examination revealed that Rick's glass was two-third's of the size of the others used in the competition. Rick denied the accusation but the question marks over his capacity to drink remain.

Wreck of the Week
No contest. Hobbsy, despite being just 29, behaved like a 50-year-old on the pitch and a 15-year-old off it. No woman was safe while Hobbsy prowled or lounged in the swimming pool, but once he donned the whites he hobbled his way round the outfield, bowled a few overs and grimaced.